Why is it So Hard to Keep Going?

My life is now becoming a never-ending cycle of habits. I’m getting bored and progress is no longer showing any obvious signs of improvement. Just the same repetition over and over. It doesn’t feel like my diet and exercise will ever give me that elusive penis skin over my abs. The running doesn’t make me feel more or less energized than before. The writing of this blog is becoming a bit monotonous and my attempts at growing followers seems to have plateaued. My work hours are ceaseless and the ball and chain of 8-to-5 work Monday through Friday is taking it’s toll on me spiritually. I don’t feel like I have celebrated my last milestone and I don’t feel like I’m any wealthier. My investments in bitcoin are not showing any returns and the expenses of the Christmas shopping is creating a pit in my stomach as I fall ever more slowly back into debt. It’s moments like this is where I rely heavily on the power of habit. I’m so grateful I took the time to put in the reps because it’s when I don’t feel like doing something is when I most need to do it. 

The habit of lifting Tuesdays and Fridays are now tied to my emotions. Yesterday, Tuesday, I had a late start. I normally work out in the mornings but the workload from a week break was enormous and I needed to get my two jobs workload sorted and organized so I do not fall behind. I ended up missing the workout but remember that I’m training my son in lifting in the evening. I decided to do it then. The anxiety and discomfort I felt was palpable. By somehow missing that workout, it felt…wrong. I felt a overwhelming sense of dread and disappointment that I broke a habit. I wanted to workout but I was chained to my laptops. That’s when I knew that my last 13 weeks of training have paid off. Perhaps not so much in physical strength or physique, but in the power of my emotions toward that activity. My body craves it now. It needs it. So I will keep doing it regardless because I know I will feel worse for missing it. I know if I just keeping increasing my repetitions one day at a time there’ll be a point where all those collective efforts will compound into something I never knew possible.

The habit of saving 10% on paydays now takes no energy. I’ve setup my life so that I get paid every Friday. So every Friday morning I wake up and look at my deposits. I do an easy mental calculation by moving the decimal one place and transfer that amount into my Binance.US trading account and buy bitcoin with no fees. I transfer my bitcoin on the 1st of every month to a cold wallet and my money is safe. After having a catastrophic loss with Celsius’ bankruptcy, I thought my life was over. I lost my entire life savings. The bankruptcy proceedings are progressing but I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back. What I did after that loss was to continue my system of saving 10%. I changed one variable where I hold the keys to my crypto and it’s been this way ever since. I’m about half way toward saving the same amount I lost. If in the future by some divine miracle my bitcoin is returned to me from Celsius then I’d have doubled my wealth and more. It’s the system that was important. Regardless of what happened, I continued my system of saving 10% every Friday. My money will build slowly but surely. The market is in a deep crypto winter but I see the next bull run and can’t wait to sell when prices are sky high again. This is that crappy part of accumulating and it will be a couple more years before I see any return. It will most likely get worse before it gets better. In the meantime, I have my system. 

I launched my product last week and proceeded to sell… none. I actually paid a friend to buy one and leave a review. I’m doing the steps necessary for marketing. Creating appealing photos and videos. Optimizing the listing. Advertising PPC and brand video advertising. Thinking of more creative ways to market. I begin second-guessing myself. Was I too ambitious with the pricing? Did I spend too much on patents and product video? Is there even a demand for it? Then I realized that it takes time to get the word out there. As a camping product, this season isn’t exactly the time for purchasing new gear. I was hopeful in catching the Christmas shopping season but perhaps use this period to get more data on keyword search terms. I realize I’m incredibly inept in this field in general. I probably need to learn more about it. I have one year to decide if this product is a flop but I think it’s just a matter of time. Just to go keep going.


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