"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
I have faced this translucent, curved wall before. The colors shimmer radiantly on the surface. It is the surface of the bubble I live in. I’ve turned away from this bubble many times because I was waiting for people, for someone, anyone to follow me. There is a Buddhist belief that in order to reach nirvana, one must free themselves from all worldly attachments. I thought a lot about this. How can someone let go of people they love? Their own families, friends, and lovers. All for the sake of some greater thing that we don’t know for sure exists. It is paralyzing and full of fear of the unknown. This is the part of self-growth that causes us to settle to the level of those around us, in our environment. Despite this vague feeling of sensing something greater, it is not real enough to give up everything for. As I stare into this ethereal wall once more, I get a feeling of needing to dare greatly or risk having the path close to me forever.
I believe that bubbles are worlds we all live in. The walls of which are filled with fear, suffering, and pain to prevent us from ever leaving. The bubbles require great courage and enlightenment to pass through. Some bubbles are healthy and some bubbles are harmful. There are some bubbles that are simply too small or restrictive for us to ever truly feel free within them. I believe that nirvana is living in a world without bubbles. To be free from judgement and fear. To fuse with something greater. I don’t know what. I feel it sometimes when I look at the stars when I’m backpacking. I sense it when lying on the warm rocks after sunset. I see the omens in hummingbirds and june bugs that always fall into my line of sight in the most unexpected ways.
People grow or simply stop growing. It’s the people that stop growing that believe they cannot change. They struggle with their own ego and sense of identity. They tend to repeat patterns without any awareness at all of the fact they are walking in circles. There’s a difference from someone who walked three miles around a track and someone who hiked three miles in nature. The distance, action, and effort are roughly the same, but the experience is the difference between heaven and hell. I read somewhere that we create heaven or hell inside our minds and through our attitudes. One painful fact I’ve discovered, is that you cannot make people see in an environment of comfort, entertainment, and minimal adversity. They believe their life is good and everything is fine and it is not my responsibility to pop that bubble. Unless that bubble is my own.
I’ve shed the skin of my past several times. Each time I outgrew the environment I was in. It was easy at first, when the people simply enjoyed parties, smoking, and trouble. It became more difficult as I discovered people that knew of the universal love that exists even among strangers. Now I’ve reached a point that I’ve been dreading for a long time. Where everyone around me are all very good people and don’t deserve to be outgrown. But I’ve reached the path that diverges and I’ve setup camp here for too long. It’s time to finally make a decision. I finally understand the true meaning of Robert Frost’s poem and how it presented to me in this life. I will always choose the path less traveled.