After 4 days of music festival camping and 2 days recovery, I am back at work and feeling… sad. Am I sad that it’s over? Or am I sad that I have to go back to the reality of responsibility? This is an important distinction I’d like to explore.
Overall, Camp EDC was a success. The environment was filled with happy people, constant compliments, smiles, and good vibes. The Las Vegas Speedway was filled with color, new stages, and incredible music. I partied hard and have no regrets. Yet I still feel that it was so short-lived. I’m sure many of you have felt the way same after a one or two-week vacation.
I believe the problem behind my post-vacation blues is the fact I force myself to endure as many activities as possible within my limited time. I stretched my physical capabilities beyond the limit, sacrificed sleep, and ate more than I needed to ensure I experienced everything the place had to offer. In doing so, I think this releases stress hormones that compounds with my FOMO (fear of missing out). It reminds me that I don’t have all the time in the world. It’s a small taste of a seemingly impossible dream of leaving the world I know behind.
I fantasize what it’d be like to truly be free. Not having to worry about money and being able to stay on vacation indefinitely. If I had to work, I’d be able to do it from anywhere in the world. This is the reality I am attempting to create. The complexity of this dream becomes more difficult as more lives become involved. Creating a new lifestyle for a family requires an exponential amount of money than going it alone.
Money is always a limiting factor. I can’t afford to be off of work too long because I need to keep up with expenses and financial goals. I can’t afford to spend all my savings on living expenses or vacations. It’s difficult to go through the slow process of tiny habits where at times you see no progress. The temptation of escaping responsibility offers those immediate rewards but leave me ultimately penniless without building a cashflow machine first.
I discovered that I’m mostly unhappy with the fact I’m still dependent on hourly rate income to get by. I’m not as far as I’d hoped to be by this point in my life. My business has become stagnant with increasing regulations that make it more difficult to run a time-efficient and profitable business. I think it’s time to go back to the drawing board and re-evaluate everything I’ve done so I can move toward a new objective.
It turns out that I’m probably sad because I didn’t have to option to extend my vacation if I desired. What I really want– are options. Options that only come with money. I’m sick of being poor. I’ll let that pain propel me forward. I hope you guys have a good rest of your week.