I put up a Facebook post last week wishing for wisdom for my birthday and the results surprised me. I asked a question for those that have walked the path before me. “What would you do different if you were 36 again?” I’ve read through the responses and I couldn’t help but feel all sorts of emotions: regret, optimism, and genuine first-hand experience in what we should and should not do. I tried replying to everyone and attempting to distill every nugget of wisdom I could. I was able narrow down the responses into what I call the “Big Three”. It turns out we can breakdown everything in our lives into three fundamental categories: health, money, and relationships.
The responses that resonated with me the most was spending time with our children. This belongs in the relationships category. I had some time to reflect on this. As parents, I believe we struggle with an eternal guilt. Sometimes it’s guilt for not being able to afford what they want or need. Guilt for being too tired from always working to play. Guilt for missing important events in our child’s lives. Sometimes it’s the act of seeing ourselves through their eyes. It pains me to imagine my son trying to talk to me while I’m staring down at my phone. I’m trying to practice awareness of this habit to stop and look into his eyes when he’s talking. I realized the importance of this with age and wisdom. It’s never too late. That’s why I decided to radically change my life to spend more time with my son this past year. I had to make sacrifices with work and pay to do so but I can say it was worth it. We finally found something we’re able to do together. I’ve always been more introverted not very sports-oriented but I do enjoy weight lifting and running. So for the past four months we’ve been working out together in my home gym three days a week. Even if it’s just an hour each day, it’s an hour where I’m only watching him. I’m sure it will have an effect on him someday as the memories we’re making simmer with time. It’s a joy to watch him gain confidence in his strength and shattering his own beliefs about his body. I feel grateful I can show him the lesson of the power of habit through consistency and small incremental gains that snowball in ways unimaginable today. And speaking of working out, health was next in the big three.
There’s a universal consensus that health is important and it seems that many of the responses regret the choices they’ve made. Some spoke of smoking, eating habits, and exercise. I was one of those people. My family has an extensive history of cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, strokes, heart attacks, and I had high cholesterol at twenty years old. When you’re broke, no career, with a newborn baby trying to survive in one of highest cost-of-living city & state in America, diet is the first to go. I ate as cheaply as possible and because of that, my health suffered. As a registered nurse in the emergency room, these health problems are all I saw. There was a pattern. If I maintained this pattern for another fifteen to twenty years I would most likely have a stroke or heart attack. It wasn’t until my late twenties and early thirties that I really saw the importance of diet and exercise. It took years to develop good habits and I recommend starting very small. For three days a week, I jogged for fifteen seconds and walked for two minutes. And that was it. I worked up to twenty total alternating this pattern. That’s where I started back in 2018 and slowly increased the jogging time to 30 seconds, 45, and then 1 minute. I shortened my walking time from 2 minutes to 1minute to 30 seconds. In March 2020, I finished the Los Angeles Marathon with a time that would embarrass some of the seniors I ran with. I distinctly remember being passed by a woman who appeared nine months pregnant at mile 6. But I was able to finish. All because I committed to simply showing up and jogging for 15 seconds.
The response I got the most was about retirement and saving money. It seems that money is not as plentiful as we’re older and less able to work. I would say that being old and broke is one of my greatest fears. I’m a pretty proud person and I dislike the idea of relying on anyone for help, including the government. It would feel as if I went through life ending up where I started. My goal is to have a wealth I can pass on to my great grandchildren. It’s why I decided to start this brand and business a few years ago. I know I’m on the right track and I want to be generous with the money I earn. To produce more than I need so I can contribute in ways that I want to. I have big dreams of creating experiences for people that are once-in-a-lifetime. And for that, I need money. We all do. It’s important to define what we want and what we will do once we have that money. So as to not let the money distort our souls but to magnify them through a pure desire for good.