How to Prevent Love From Burning Through Money

I have a clear plan to get out of debt. If I follow the plan I’ll be debt free in two years. Love comes along and says “Screw your plans, you need to spend more to keep me.” My two year plan has effectively stalled for five years. About as long as I’ve been in a relationship. There’s some rule I learned since high school that being in a relationship is expensive. Why does it have it to be? I realized it’s about who you chose and the relationship’s views about money.

My partner and I do not see eye-to-eye when it comes to money. My partner needs to go out all the time and spends everything she earns. Bear in mind, my perception of this is biased and can be concluded as such. My partner’s need to go out is no fault of her own nor do I disapprove of it. I like to go out too, but the difference is that I don’t need it. For my partner, I say need because if it doesn’t happen, the relationship will self-destruct. Believe me, when covid lockdowns happened, I can see her unravel in front of me. And that had nothing to do with the relationship. It’s just the way she is. When it comes to that, I have to put my plans to become debt free second. It’s been second for a long time. If I ever tried to put it first, the relationship starts to fall apart. I’ve come to accept this reality and tried to come up with other plans to increase income to offset our money burn rate. When saving money, I prefer to stay at home and avoid anything where food or alcohol is involved. Because as you guessed, I have a lack of self-control when out and about. I have no problem buying drinks for me, for others, treating people to meals, desserts, etc. I like to have a good time and that care-free part of me takes over. That’s just how I am.  I wish I can go out all the time and not worry about anything. But in the back of my mind, I know I do not want to work paycheck-to-paycheck for the rest of my life. I’m not trying to save it all for the end either. I just want to save it for bigger things. I would trade ten drinking nights for a month in Japan. It costs about the same. Just the other night I somehow managed to spend $150 on drinks for a five hour concert. Another night, I spend almost $500 on dinner, dessert, and a night cap. It’s just ludicrous how much cash I’m burning through for a fleeting moment that blends in with the rest of my drunken memories. When I’m old and I look back at my life, I will not recall those nights I feel like I wasted money. I will remember the moments that made me feel alive. That being said I can only setup systems to help me.

I setup a system to avoid relationship disaster. My system is simple. I save 10% into bitcoin every time I get paid. That’s from both my w-2 and business income. Whatever’s left goes to rent, electricity, gas, internet, cell phone, loans, and monthly credit card charges. I make sure not to carry any balances on my credit cards ever. Whatever discretionary cash I have left over goes to groceries, date night, and massages. Usually there’s nothing left. That’s where my side hustle mind gets to work. I try to increase my income so I can throw more excess cash toward my loans to get them paid off. I do this through product creation and Amazon FBA. I get an idea, bring it to market, and it hopefully sells. I eat eggs and whey protein for breakfast, meal prep lunch, and do a Chipotle steak salad for dinner about 5 days a week. I leave some cash to eat whatever I want on Saturdays and have dinner with my partner on Friday nights. I currently have $1300 a month going to loans and my goal is to at least pay those off to free up that income. Some conscious decisions I’ve made is to reduce my Amazon shopping as well. They make it too easy. It takes some willpower to stop. I only buy food items there now or the occasional gift shopping. My house has more crap than I’m ever going to need. This is how I’ve been balancing my lifestyle, relationship, and financial goals. I workout in my garage and bought a power rack, barbell, and some weights which has paid itself back already. I minimize any monthly subscription I don’t use regularly and ask friends for their logins by doing favors. I’m paying more attention to my thermostat as I’m spoiled by climate control. I realized this is not really advice but my own personal answer to my dilemma. If I have a partner that loves to spend money and I’m trying to save money. If I love her, I’ll find a way to earn money faster than she can spend. It’s as simple as that. This blog addresses the how and she’s part of the reason I’m on this journey and sharing what I’m learning in the process. Cheers. Keep Hustling.


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