I received the call yesterday afternoon. My recruiter had the same tone of voice my mom had before she told me she gave my puppy away. Fortunately, it was less tragic than that. My remote work contract is expiring on the 24th and she wished me the best of luck.
"Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."
Life is a real ‘B’ sometimes. My contract wasn’t supposed to end until June and I was really counting on the extra money. I especially enjoy working from home and creating content in my extra time. This really puts a wrench into the financial planning I’ve done to get out of debt asap. With student loans looming on the horizon later this year, I can’t afford the payments when they restart. I recently spent a ton of money launching this last ultralight tripod and I’m still figuring out the social media marketing plan. Money is tight and everything is costing money. This is the last thing I wanted to happen.
My worries initially got the best of me. My mind is rapidly pivoting my master plan since early this morning. I immediately wanted to fix some problems like insurance, dental, & vision. I went into my budget plans and overhauled the entire thing. Of course, some of my inventory sells out and I’m stuck waiting for more shipments coming in from China. During this 4-8 weeks waiting, I won’t be making any extra money from the business. They had paused orders for a month due to the lunar new year and the timing was unfortunate. But I’m glad they got to take a break once and celebrate life. They work hard and definitely deserve it. Despite all my worries, this layoff gave me a jolt of reality that I was in desperate need of.
When life punched me in the mouth it came with feelings I’ve long forgotten. There was a sense of peace and relief that was mixed in. I felt a burden lift off my mind and some long, lost emotional energy return to me. It was definitely a strange feeling. A piece of my focus, time, and attention returning to my soul and it felt good. I think these feelings are in line with some of the ultralight ideas I’ve recently become obsessed with. I found myself more present and appreciative of the people that matter to me. That life jars us in random and unexpected ways but who knows what fate has in store for me. Perhaps it’s the reality check I need to burn the bridges and go after success with a single-minded drive made possible only by having failure mean ultimate ruin. By losing something, I’ve gained something in return.
How much is peace of mind worth? To me, everything. I think losing a job that pays me a thousand dollars a week puts a price on that peace of mind. It’s not worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be romantically artistic about it. I do need money to survive and I built my business and hustle up enough to survive on it. It’s not an ideal scenario where I can pour the profit back into the business and make it grow faster. But sometimes life punches businesses in the face too. My family were refugees from the Vietnam War. I have nothing to fall back on except myself. At the end of the day, that’s all I really need to know. An ultralight idea is to be the master of your own fate. I’m not letting this get me down. I’m going to use it as fuel.