What do you do? I mentally checkout as soon as it’s asked. There is nothing interesting about what we do to make money. I have yet to find any answer worth having a conversation about. If someone uses their job as a defining part of their identity then I simply view them as lost. I get the sudden urge to go to the bathroom when I sense the dragging of a conversation about the mind-numbing monotony of their hustle. These are social circles I have long since deserted. I’m shifting through my Monday through Friday grind and my soul is feeling trapped into this never-ending cycle. The flow of time is stretched and distorted to match the murky emotions associated with the next dollar. I’m losing my sense of reality and vision for the future. There is no excitement or joy. Just inhabiting a mindless robotic drone moving through my conditioned work programming trying to use the fewest mental resources possible. It’s why I never feel I’m being paid enough. What kind of sick bastard would want to repeat these senseless actions for forty-plus hours per week for the next thirty to forty years? It’s a perversion of society. By the end of which, I’ll be too exhausted to remember how to live my own life or remember what it’s like to feel alive. My current predicament involves paying back debt and that means fewer recreational activities. It’s stressing me out and my relationships are suffering because of it. It’s like an abusive relationship I can’t get out of. I realize I’m just venting. We all need to do it. I’m leaving mine in 2022 and looking to start fresh in the new year like everybody else. I can’t wait to throw up double birds to my 9-5 jobs and finally be free from that nonsense. It’s such a sick system. Let me know how you’re feeling. Cheers.
