Every week is the same. Sunday through Friday I’m eating the same food-prepped meals. Tuesday and Friday mornings I lift weights. Wednesday and Saturday mornings I run three miles. Tuesday and Thursday evenings I coach my son in lifting and we spend some time together afterwards. Friday nights is date night with my partner. Saturday is my cheat day and I binge on everything fried, sugary, and delicious. Sundays I rest and play video games or watch Netflix and anime. Then Monday rolls around and I get back to working remotely from home and the whole routine starts over again. I know I’m moving closer to my dreams and goals with each Friday paycheck. I know if I just continue this routine I will get out of debt and on my way to being financially free. The weekly repetition I call “the grind” has a quality of repetitive actions meant to consume time and energy. There’s no way around it. Only through.
I’ve run out of enjoyable content. To avoid going out, I’ve opted to find entertainment at home. Anyone who’s been out to the bar one night can tell you how expensive that lifestyle can be. The problem is that I believe I have actually exhausted my brain’s limit on video streaming content. There’s literally more content that I can watch in multiple lifetimes but there’s only so many dopamine hits I can take. Eventually my brain fries out and I just get bored. I don’t watch anymore Netflix. So I’ve been purchasing new books for my kindle, listening to audiobooks, and continuing the habits I’ve built this year. Once all my checklists are done, I still find myself struggling figuring out what it is I want to do. Sometimes I go for a walk to a local hike. I still listen to my audiobooks during the trek and don’t always find what it is I’m looking for. That feeling of… excitement.
It turns out that routines are pretty boring. I realized the most successful people are usually the ones that can tolerate the boredom of doing the same things every day. Now that I think about it. I haven’t really defined what my goal post of success is. I really just want to be able to go off-grid for a month and have money coming into my account regardless of whether I’m there or not. It’s a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. There are still so many variables that depend on me. I’ve found the hint to acquiring this elusive freedom in the short bursts of work that would require my full-time attention. Hopefully in a shorter period of two weeks in which I can prepare several months of inventory to Amazon’s warehouses for sale and then disappear for a few months. I can come back and re-do my short bout of ordering and work and then set off again on another adventure. I think that’s how I will run my life once I’m done with this w-2 income business. I’m hoping I can be free by June of 2023. My five-year priorities have shifted to my son of thirteen years. I’ve made a commitment to him for these five teenage years until he’s graduated high school. I want to be here for him and for that, I will tolerate the boredom.
My interests have not changed that much since I was a child. I still enjoy tinkering with technology. I still enjoy the occasional video game and anime series. I’m always in love with a great meal with people I care about. I don’t really need the hustle and bustle of large groups anymore. I don’t find myself particularly interested in the drama of social circles either. I enjoy reading and listening to the words of the dead in civilizations long past. Trying to find some wisdom that applies to this day and age. It makes for good conversation when trying to get the thoughts of others on the subjects. I enjoy watching the antics of my cat and dog. Hunting zipping flies with my orange fly swatter. The artistic explosion that happens in my working space when my ideas are running wild. The tidying that comes shortly after the idea has been brought to the world. I’m always looking for peace and it resides closely to its brother, boredom. Then I remember that boredom is good. It means all my basic needs have been met. Creating space for boredom is integral for creativity and inspiration to come from the most explicitly dull moments where the color of the world is vacuumed. I embrace the boredom. I do not allow it to rule me and produce feelings of anxiety no longer. When I am bored I remind myself that I am simply at peace.