I’ve read and listened to Atomic Habits several times and now currently reading The Power of Habit. I haven’t missed a weight training day or running day in the last twelve weeks. It makes me feel I’ve been applying what I’ve learned successfully. I’m eating right and writing my posts on-time. I believe these habits will help my body stay young and energized. I believe these habits will keep my mind sharp and open. The goal is to maintain these faculties long enough for me to enjoy the time I’ll get back when I’m financially free or when enjoying a mini-retirement. But with every action, there is equal and opposite reaction. Let me explain.
I saw the subtle changes appear in my mind several months ago. As I pounded the material into my head week after week I finally got the message. It was like my whole world was technically drawn into a 2-D floor plan and I was looking at it with new eyes from above. I can see how my habits have created patterns within my life that revolve around specific cues, actions, and rewards. With this new awareness, I decided to get to work and began focusing on all the problems I wanted to fix. The problem with this step in the process is that I begin to suffer from hyper-vigilance of any negative behavior reappearing in my life. I didn’t want the old habit pathways to ever be re-opened and wanted to organize my environment to enlist a successful and permanent change. That turned out to be a problem with those I lived with.
As I changed my habits, my attitude and feelings toward negative ones changed as well. I look at soda with disgust with their “chemical taste”. I find staying up late with my eyes glued to a screen nauseating to my brain. I started projecting these negative feelings and attitudes to everyone around me, especially those who are closest to me. All my small remarks about their negative habits elicited a shameful response and disdain for my opinion. These small, imperceptible comments, that come from a genuine interest in their well-being, turned into a ball of resentment and ill-will. My relationships with them became more critical of their actions and it brought about regressive behaviors.
I recognize I was just a novice in this new field of habit and I was trying to preach as if I was a grand master. I’m still a baby trying to teach other babies how to crawl. I had to step back again and recognize that I won’t get anywhere criticizing a behavior in a negative way. I recognize I have to start thinking like a grand master. For now, I can only focus on my internal victory. Once I have mastered all the lessons that come with habit, only then can I begin to introduce these concepts to others in a more creative way. Preferably, in ways my loved ones will not even see happening. There’s no rush, these things take time.