I’m finding myself in a place where I’m checking my phone too much. I notice the face ID bringing me into a repetitive sequence of apps where I check bitcoin price, amazon sales, telegram, and emails. I’m not meditating anymore and my exercise habits have since fallen off. I’ve lost the momentum I once had and need to start over.
It’s been a long time since I’ve read Think and Grow Rich. It’s the book that started me on this journey toward money after all. Little did I know that this path would require a version of myself I needed to create. Clear decisions come from clear thinking. Clear thinking comes from a clean body and soul. I found myself trying to exercise, eat healthier, and push myself to learn new things. I took small chances and risks which some paid off and some did not. I learned how to become more interested in people and think I made some friends along the way. I learned about love and that it’s not something you fall into. It’s something you build every day, little by little. I learned that there is no get-rich-quick scheme. Everything moves at a pace that builds with each interaction, each smile and thank you. The ideas are waiting and I feel like I stopped digging for them. I am comfortable and this is a dangerous place to fall asleep and forget my dream.
I want, I want, I want. I want a nice body. I want to feel strong. I want to be wealthy. I want to be free. I want to do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. I want to find where my mind belongs. I’m bored to tears of this lifestyle. I’m bored of streaming shows. I’m bored of reading books. I’m bored of social media. I’m bored of playing video games. I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m bored.
Emotions and desires are a fickle thing. It can change with time or with each passing moment. I want to feel good and feel good now. Instant dopamine hits and pavlovian mechanisms are everywhere. Spiritually toxic in every way. The mind-altering plants or man-made concoctions are not enough to numb it. It’s back to basics. I have to remember the simplest things. Do them and I will find my way.