Everybody wants to fall in love. We stare at our phones because we want to be mesmerized by something or someone. We have all this love pouring out of us, reaching out into the stars, hoping that someone will pick up on that frequency. As children we do this naturally and love tends to reflect back in greater proportion. As adults though, as working professionals, what changes? Why is it so hard to find someone that’s perfect for you? After listening, reading, and watching all the advice about happiness, success, fortune, power, fame, and (name your desire)… the golden thread lining all of these ambitions always take the form of a loving partner. Behind every great man is a great woman and vice versa. I’ve been with my partner for over 4 years now and it’s come with great ups and downs. It’s never been boring. The greatest journey in this life is to find someone to love with all your heart and it’s really that simple. I’ve thought about love a lot as a young person and decided to revisit this topic because it’s more important now than ever in a society that’s changing so rapidly. A lot of it isn’t your fault, it’s the product of your environment. So let the healing begin.
How Dating Has Changed: Repair vs Replace Society
Technology is a wonderful force for the most part. It’s made our lives easier, faster, and supposedly gives us more time. The problem with technology has to do more with the conceptual framework revolving around how we fix things. What does this have to do with dating? To put simply, it has to do with how we think about everything, not just dating. Let’s say you drop your iPhone and it shatters on both sides. You double-check if you have AppleCare+ and take it to the Apple Store. They look at your phone and what do they offer you? Do they offer to repair the phone or replace the phone? In my experience, they replace the whole phone and give you a new one instead of bothering to fix the one you broke. This phenomenon is prevalent throughout our modern world. Whenever something breaks, do we try to repair it or do we simply replace it? It’s more work to try and repair something and we’ve specialized to an extent that we lost this practical skill. Torn stitching? Donate and buy new clothes. According to grandpa, back in the 50’s and 60’s when your car broke down, the mechanic found the part that’s causing problems, repaired the part, and stuck it back in your car. Alright, so what’s the point here? I believe this pattern of replacing things with something new whenever you feel something is broken is a pattern that has trickled into society’s dating habits. Whenever your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t doing it for you anymore, you sabotage your relationship to get a new one. This pattern repeats into a serial monogamy of perpetual isolation. So what we really need is to change our pattern to repair when it comes to relationships. Because love is something you work on and build together. It doesn’t work if only one person contributes. That being said, let’s get back to the main topic at hand which is how to attract a smart, funny, and beautiful nurse.
Matching & Mirroring
If you want to attract a smart, funny, and beautiful person… it helps if your are also smart, funny, and beautiful. So what if you got 1 out of 3? There’s still hope, you can still be smart and funny. Whether you like it or not, you need to put in some effort to make yourself attractive. I don’t care what anyone says about wanting a person to see their heart or personality. You need to attract them first. If you really want this person, you have to fall in love with them before you even meet them. When you’re in love, you will anything for this person. Just imagine yourself already in love, vision is very important here because if you feel the touch of their lips on yours, their breathing on your neck, the emotion you’ll feel when you’re with them, it’s only a matter of time before it’s real. Use this visualization exercise to put your mental state in the right space to eating right and working out. Diet & Exercise or Eat & Train. I prefer the latter. If you want to some tips on this check out our previous post here. These are foundational habits for your whole life so stay on it. Try this for 6 weeks and I can guarantee you’ll already feel 100% more confidence and that automatically makes you smarter & funnier. So now you got 3 out 3. What next? You need to go where beautiful people are. It’s not rocket science but think about what YOU are interested in. Then think about where people tend to gather and put yourself out there. You need to give your future partner the opportunity to see you and they can only find you out in the real world. Putting yourself out there takes confidence. Which is why we did those steps, we’re building blocks here.
Conceal and Feel with a Group Date
Be cool and don’t advertise your single status. If someone wants to know, they’ll find out. Society today has transitioned itself into several layers of commitment and a group date is a great way to get to know more people without the pressures of an actual date. This does require you to learn how to be friendly with people so you can get an invite or set one up yourself. Sometimes you do want to shatter your infatuation early as a reality check that you’re not letting your mind delude you. Group dates also create a good opportunity to pull them aside for a private conversation to see who they really are, noticing their quirks, and interests. This kind of eases the disappointment you would find from actually going on a date with this person and making it all awkward if they’re a coworker or something. Make sure the blend of males and females are about 1:1. All girls nights do not count. There’s nothing more intimidating to a guy than 7-8 girls all dressed up gathered in herds for protection. If there’s alcohol or marijuana involved, make sure you don’t let the crazy out. You save that for after you’re married and the kids turn 2. A word of advice on how to get a conversation alone which is a concept I learned in sociology. Humans can hold a conversation with a maximum of 4 people. Once you introduce a 5th person, the conversation always breaks down into 2 separate conversations. This is what they call the 5th wheel. It disturbs the natural mechanics of conversation. So you can use this to your advantage when looking for an opportunity. Depending on group size, let’s say there’s 4 people talking in one conversation, it’ll be relatively easy to pull them out of it by leading off the topic. You can also reinforce it by getting them to face away from the group toward you and you can (insert pickup line) or conversation starter. Ask open-ended questions where they have to think and you get to learn more about them. The more they invest in you, the more they will be drawn to you. Good luck!